a two-handed fighter

A couple of weeks ago, my step-dad went to see the new Captain Marvel movie while on business travel. That’s right folks, he saw it without me. While a little bitter at the time, his promise to see it again with me and a compliment he bestowed quickly made up for it. John said that he saw me in the main character Carol. He felt the way she talked, looked and acted was very similar to my own mannerisms. That compliment absolutely made my day! Without spoiling the movie, I want to define some of the characteristics I saw in Carol after watching the movie myself. She was courageous, and bold. She was determined, goal oriented, and worked hard in her training. She was incredibly witty (which is one of my favorite things about her) and she can rock a grunge look, just as Nick Furry points out in the movie. She can be forgetful, which Lord knows I am, but makes up for it in the way she cares for people. She has a past and has been broken, but uses her brokenness as a strength. 

When John got home that week from his trip, I was slightly panicked to see him. The week before I had gotten in a bit of a car wreck and was just waiting for the hammer to drop and to be thoroughly disciplined. But instead, he gave me this massive compliment. Friends, if we are being honest, I don’t see myself as the person I described above. I’m a mess, I’m a klutz, I constantly fall down and pick myself up, and I can’t drive to save my life. John had every right to just let me have it – to remind me that I’ve done it again, fallen short of his expectations, rekindled the flame of past failures, but instead he complimented me. And in that moment, and still to this day, I feel like the superhero that he sees in me. 

I tell you this story because I see Jesus all up in it. Oh how often I let Him down! How often do I fall short of who He wants me to be! But instead of striking me to the ground or leaving me for dead as soon as I mess up, He loves me. And He sees the very best of me, even when I can’t see it in myself. In Him, I am made new, (2 Corinthians 5:17) I am created to be as God – righteous and holy,  (Ephesians 4:24) I was created to do good works that God has prepared for me to do, (Ephesians 2:10) I am a vessel of Light, that I may shine for others to see, (2 Corinthians 4:6) I have a calling and a purpose, (Hebrews 3:1) and I am saved by the sweetest of grace, a grace that was given as a gift, not based upon a performance on my part! (THANK GOODNESS! Ephesians 2:8) 

Sometimes we hold ourselves back from the calling and will of the Lord simply in the way that we talk about our own person. When our identity shifts, we become lost and unsure of what to do or how to react, much like Carol in parts of Captain Marvel. If we don’t know who we are, and whose we are, we will never be able to muster up the strength to step boldly into our anointing.  

In closing, I want to share a quote from the movie (to the couple that sat beside me at the theater, I apologize for being on my phone during this scene, I instantly knew I wanted this quote for my blog!) At this point in the movie Carol is up against a wall and naturally feels defeated. Suddenly she has a realization and says, “All this time, I’ve been fighting with one hand tied behind my back. But what happens when I’m finally set free?” 

Sometimes the way we talk to ourselves disables our ability to move in the way we are called to move. Whether it’s fear, past hurts, insecurities, or whatever else it may be…these stumbling blocks hinder our walks, whether we realize it or not. Until we find healing and true identity in our Maker, until we begin to see ourselves the way He does we will be out there swinging with only half the strength needed to fight. I don’t know of any boxers that won a fight with one arm, so maybe it’s time we untie ourselves from the lies. I’m ready to be a two-armed fighter, and I hope you are too. 

-j