If I’m being completely honest, these last few weeks have had me feeling lost. The identity I had spent years discovering and developing seemed foggy, distant, and at times fake. I feel useless as things such as local shootings and other evils surround the external environment around me, and I feel broken as spouts of depression and loneliness crowd my heart and mind. The feelings of meaninglessness I had once let absorb me began to creep back in and I feared that I was the same person I was two years ago. Will God use me? Can He use me? Is He still interested in this vessel He created? But then, after spending time with my Father I remember who I am. I’ve been studying John 15 this last weekend and I wrote a prayer that I wanted to share with you, friends.
//My sweet Jesus you have loved me in a way that only you and the Father are capable of. You ask me, My King, to make this love my home, and though incredibly unworthy of such an honor, I humbly accept. Jesus, the vine I spring from, and Father, the ultimate harvester, I pray that you seek out the pieces of myself that are unfruitful. It is in the pruning and shearing that growth is found so today Father, I ask you to prune me. Shape me. Mold me into the child you want me to be. A child of love, a child of light.
I chose to make my home in you today sweet Jesus, and in your footsteps I pray to follow. Branches can only develop when attached to a vine and Lord I can only develop when I am found in you. As a vine nourishes a branch, you nourish me, Father. Every blessing, every lesson, every second of life I have been granted is only due to you, My King.
Grow me, Father. Prune me, my sweet Treasure. It is only in you that I am nourished….//
j.w.
